The Joys of the Unexpected in Pregnancy

This post has taken me a long time to sit down and actually write. I am not sure exactly why, maybe when I read my sister-in-law's posts, her words are just so beautiful and well written, I am not worthy to write about it. Or maybe it is just too hard to be that vulnerable.  I will be the first to admit, I am not a writer. I would love to be an amazing writer. Paint poetic pictures for those reading to get lost in my words. Sadly, that is not my gift. I love to read other peoples blogs. I could spend hours doing it (but with a one year old my time often gets cut short). Most of the time I find myself reading people's blogs that I do not even know and find myself wishing I could write as well as those I read. I just love hearing people's stories. I guess its a way of being nosey, without people knowing (but they are putting it out there, right?).

My sister-in-law paints a beautiful picture of exactly where God has her and her husband walking right now. She is vulnerable, transparent, and her words are beautiful. To read her full story, check out her blog, devotionstodalton. Ever since I met Kara (four weeks after her and my brother-in-law started dating) she has wanted children....lots of children! She LOVES kids. She has loved Lyla well and is an amazing Aunt. So needless to say, we were not surprised in the least to find out that her and Jonathan were pregnant before they were even able to celebrate their first year wedding anniversary. She was beside herself (and so was Jonathan), and selfishly I was excited that Lyla would have a cousin so close in age. I mean how fun will that be? They will be exactly 15mo apart. I did not have that growing up....a cousin close in age, who lived in the same city. After she told me, of course we started dreaming and planning all the exciting things in store for them (and us)!

At 20 weeks, Kara and Jonathan found out not only that they would be having a precious baby boy, but also that there were some potential "problems". Tests have confirmed that their baby Dalton is diagnosed with severe partial Trisomy 13. There are no true answers and nothing will be confirmed (as far as what is ahead for him) until he is born. Talk about ripping your heart out, and the fact that there is nothing you can do, for them or for Dalton. While I feel selfish saying that in the short of it my emotions have been a roller coaster, because after all it is in NO way about me at all, this has shook me to my inner core.

Kara and Jonathan have been nothing but humble, poised, and gracious. Yes, the tears have flowed and I cannot even being to imagine the emotions they experience on a minute by minute basis. But the Lord is SHINING full in HIS glory during this time. I know the Lord does not give each person more than they can handle, and boy does He trust and know that Jonathan and Kara can handle more than most. They would be the first to admit that they are in NO way relying on their own strength, because quite frankly they have no strength. They are relying on the Lord and His plans for them....no matter what those plans are. Let me just stop here and say that I would die. Literally I am pretty sure I would die.

As their due date approaches, I find that the Lord is laying Dalton heavier and heavier on my heart and my thoughts. He is due February 6th, just three short weeks away. Being a mom myself, and still having the memory of my pregnancy, labor, and delivery of Lyla still close, thinking of Kara brings tears to my eyes. They are not necessarily always sad tears, but they are full of emotion. For the most part, I SO enjoyed my pregnancy, minus the all-day sickness the first trimester, and the awful reflux starting at 26wks that just progressed, and the constant worrying of delivering a preemie (being a NICU nurse). The labor was non eventful and the delivery was just as I had wanted it to go (as much as you can imagine and think it will). Adam has a different of opinion in parts of my story (as far as me saying it was enjoyable) but I think that is God's gift to women. The gift of forgetfulness. Even though because of sin, we must suffer painful childbirth, He in is great goodness, let's us only relish in the enjoyment of our precious newborn. Otherwise, would any women go through it again?!

All that to say, I so desire for every woman to enjoy it as much as I did. That is what I have wanted for Kara this entire 40 weeks. I cannot go emotionally where Jonathan is, because quite frankly, I am not a guy or a dad. But for Kara, oh the joy of feeling that tiny baby flip and flop and kick and punch the inner most part of your being. No person will even know these emotions until they are pregnant themselves. I love this quote and really feel like it captures a mother's love and connection with her child "and nobody will understand the strength of my love for you, because after all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside". While the road has been hard emotionally for Kara, I truly believe she has so enjoyed being pregnant. That little sweetie inside of her has not for a second allowed his momma doubt that he is totally FULL of life.

Next week (Jan 30th) seems to be the big week for their family. We understand that God is totally in control of when Dalton makes his appearance and will be the sustainer of each and every breath he breathes (as He is with all of us). We are praying over the labor and delivery, the doctors hands and wisdom for them, as well as the nurses and all of the specialties that will be taking care of sweet Dalton. We are also praying for Jonathan and Kara as their new roles as parents begin (and the "lack of control" they will feel in the beginning). That their emotions and wishes would remain clear and well-receieved by all. That there would be little family drama and that we all would be supportive (exactly how Jonathan and Kara need us to be), listen well, and talk less. That they would feel the love and support of all and know that they are being lifted up in prayer. That Dalton's stay in the NICU would be short and he would be able to be home as quickly as possible. Of course we are asking for complete healing. I know God desires us to be expectant. So that is our prayer. We also are praying that if that is not His will, that Dalton's complications would be minimal and easily managed. That he would be strong and have no breathing issues. That the delivery would be easy on him. And that the doctors and nurses, in God's goodness, would know exactly what he needs before he even expresses it or shows symptoms of it. That he would not be in pain.

Please join me in praying for them.